Five Things You Don't Want to Know About Picasso

10/18/2013

I didn't take the Mona Lisa! Honest guv'ner

What is it about Pablo Picasso that makes him the artist we all love?
What do we really know about the untouchable genius of 20th century?

Why did Picasso he select an Italian Name?
Was Picasso really an Elf
Why did Picasso steal the Mona Lisa?

These, and other crucial facts about one of Spain's most famous sons gets the Gazpachomonk treatment and, as a special bonus, you can download this excellent poster to your smartphone: Picasso - What Do You Think an Artist is? Grab it, Share It and Send it Your Arty Friends...

PICASSO FACT 1: WHY DID PICASSO ADOPT AN ITALIAN NAME?

Why did Picasso - born with 14 names (13 Spanish and 1 Italian): "Pablo Diego José Francisco de Paula Juan Nepomuceno María de los Remedios Cipriano de la Santísima Trinidad Ruiz y Picasso", choose to adopt his mother's Italian surname?

Well, he claimed it suited him better. For Picasso it suggested something less mundane with its double 's' and lack of Malagueñan familiarity. Plus, I would hazard a guess, it meant that when he had to sign a painting, he wouldn't need half an hour to do so and an extra canvas stuck on the side to accommodate those 14 Spanish names.

Picasso trying to look Italian

PICASSO FACT 2: WHAT WAS THE TRUE HEIGHT OF PICASSO?

Undoubtedly, Picasso reached new heights with his works, but physically, we have to ask: Was Picasso an Elf?
It was rumoured that the great artist did in fact belong to this tribe of forest folk as he was, let's say, vertically challenged at just 5 foot 4".

However the gazpachomOnk has spoken to the great man via a Ouija board and can state categorically that it is no more than a popular urban myth. In the man insists he was a giant, but fought an endless battle over his height. Two little known factors, he explains, contributed to this popular misconception:

Picasso doing his Height Growing exercise

1: His choice of clothes. Wearing a horizontally - as opposed to a vertically - striped shirt in public may have been Picasso's way of stating his political organisational preferences (see articles on Anarchism) but, such clothing design was never going to help counter the reputation for being a tad pequeño (small).

2: Average Heights in Spain. We must also take into account the era in which Picasso lived. In the Spain of the 1880's and in particular 19th century Andalusia - 5ft 4" was not only a healthy and impressive stature, but one that would have invited the nickname of "lofty" from his barrio buddies.

PICASSO FACT 3: WAS HE A GREAT MEDITERRANEAN LOVER?

Picasso did his best to reinforce the Mediterranean latin lover stereotype - by betraying the love and dedication of all the women he would encounter. But who could resist those crazy eyes, that greasy hair (in his earlier days), that stripy long sleeve or that impressive stature of a man. His reputation lives on, and has been immortalised not just by word of mouth, but by video too. Watch the video below:

PICASSO FACT 4: WAS PICASSO THE MOST PRODUCTIVE SPANISH PAINTER EVER?

Only ever having to choose from one item in his wardrobe, Picasso had a surplus of extra time to paint, and paint he did. It has been calculated that he produced every year:

13.500 paintings
10.000 prints
34.000 illustrations
300 sculptures
2 scribbles on a napkin
1 early carving for Guernica done with a bread knife on the underside of his Aunts dining table.

Picasso produced around 50.000 works of art during his lifetime and not not one picture was submitted to Instagram. So although it looks like a lot, he didn't waste the average 23 hours a day we do on social media.

PICASSO FACT 5: WHAT DID PICASSO SAY ABOUT ART AND THEFT?

It was rumoured that Picasso stole the Mona Lisa. In fact he went to court in Paris to answer accusations that he had shipped it back to his mum's family in Italy. It turned out to be untrue, but in preparation for a life behind bars, Picasso began to a wear a stripy Breton shirt to get himself in the mood. (See Picasso Fact Two for more on Stripy shirts).

Yet theft would never be far from Picasso's easel as over time, more of his paintings would be stolen than any other major artist. Some 550 of his paintings are officially registered as stolen. (That's about One weeks Work in Picasso Speed)

"All Art is Theft"

"The World doesn't make sense, so why should I?"

"Art washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life"

MORE ON ARTISTS AND SPAIN

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So now you know: Go forth and proudly reproduce (the free poster) - wear it with a stripy pride on your smartphone, your tablet or perhaps more humourosly, paste it to the back of your residency papers and next time the Guardia Stop ask you to pass over your documents for drunk driving, nonchalantly slip it alongside the 50 euros that customarily accompanies such pleasantries. You'd be surprised what a simple poster of Spain's most treasured son can still achieve.

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