Over the last decade or two, Iv'e seen quiet a few expats come and go, and one of the most defined trends has to be that of the DIY Obsessive.
Whilst the housing project is underway there is purpose, activity and a subject for conversation, but once the project has been completed there appears little to fill the gap - other than the unpleasant reality of actually doing something with life. It sort of goes like this...
1. Buy hopeless ruin on dark north facing slope with "possibility of water and electricity." (Preferably unseen by Internet)
2. Spend the next 3 - 5 years battling to legalise the sale and reform the property. During which time a certain amount of Spanish building terms for "cement" will be picked up, thereby convincing yourself that you have all but become fluent.
3. As the conversion from sheep hut to "Villa with pool sleeps 10" goes painstakingly ahead, life purpose is found in weekly trips to AKI or BricoDepot and sadly, dreams of guaranteed "recession-proof" rentals .
4. As the project nears completion (or just as likely never nears completion and is sold on to other unsuspecting newly arrivals), life mission and energy becomes depleted and a loss of purpose erupts as antagonism towards one or all of the following:
Your Local Alcalde
The Junta de Andalucia,
The Seprona patrol who are a tad suspicious that a garage permit tallows the construction of a olympic pool
Or one of the 27 animals that have been "saved from the cruel barbarities of non-expats".
5. Consequently, satellite dishes, cook books, copies of TV Times and deep-frozen packets of crumpets are packed up to be shipped back home.
To this end the Gazpachomonk offes his Marriage saving shortcut to domestic bliss and Iberian Enlightenment in the first of a series of HOW TO GUIDES for the DIY Obsessive.
Todays exclusive teaches how to deal with the eternal problem of Dampness and all things watery that get in the way of a harmonious lifestyle. KNow anyone who's building dream is about to finish? Save a relationship today...post a link to the guide.