Over the last 20 years I have lived in at least 12 different houses or flats in 6 different provinces in Spain.
Some people ask what have I learnt from all that experience of moving around, and my reply is always: "not a lot". However, if you were to ask me surreptitiously about where best to live in Spain, I might be tempted to pass on the GazpachomOnk’s 5-Point Warning List for Buyers in Spain
Of course, not all Estate Agents are carnivorous, some I've met personally* and can vouch for their high standards and honesty. But I've also had dealings with a dozen others, none of which I would feel safe to leave my budgie with.
So here it is - the Property-Speak Nonsense that needs deciphering: Print it out and keep a copy tucked down your socks at all times. Ready? Steady? Go...... (read on)
1: Country Hill-Side Villa! Views and Room for Extra Floors
Watch out for access issues: "Country path" often means you can't get to it in anything other than a tractor. Take a compass too. If someone says "how cool it is" - this means it's generally North facing (no sun all winter) and "great views" often means it's on top of a hill - exposed to tornados, hurricane winds, pterodactyl attacks and with little or no top soil on the ground. So, you can forget about planting the organic tofu-bush this year.
2: Charming Town House: Original Beams in Old Quarter
"Charming" sounds, well charming, but first take a walk around the nearby streets. Is there car access? Can a fire-engine get down that alleyway? How will you get that fridge delivered? Will the sun ever enter the house at all? Can you see your neighbours telly from your bathroom? Can your neighbours see your belly from their Telly?
3: Self-Sufficient! Live The Dream - Private Drive, Well, Mountain.
Yes - Live the Dream with your very own Mountain Top Farmhouse - including your very own 2km exhilarating drive. Self sufficient. No Bills! Sunny all year! Solar Energy! Own Well!
4: Modern Flat in Private Complex! Secure! Safe! Communal Pool.
It may seem like paradise in Winter as you are the only residents amongst the 1000 flats, but come summer it may suddenly feel as though you've moved to Tokyo as every inch of the URB is occupied 24 hours a day.
5: Charming Traditional Cortijo up Dry River Bed. Good Parking.
Remember, they are still called rivers for a reason. Dry they may be now, but come the flash floods in spring and autumn, watch-out as torrential rains sweep everything up in there path.
3 Final Points.....
Want More Stories of Living in Spain? Maybe You'll like....
Why Orwell is essential to understanding Spain today. More here - Forgotten Stories From Spain
Find out More about the ebook and audio
Forgotten Stories From Spain Book HERE
AND WATCH THE TORTILLA VIDEO HERE