We live in an increasingly fast paced world. A world in which the time it takes to make an instant coffee in the microwave is still too tediously slow. The world, moves too slow. It still takes 24 grindingly slow hours to simply turnaround once. Each hour still takes 60 long minutes to get through: Surely some bright techno 8 year old can program a new sort-of compressed minute - a Jpeg drink for those of us who find Time is still of the essence in today's turtle banished, terabyte hungry world.
Do more in less with our special Gazpachomonk Guided Tour of Iberia in just 48 hours
Tourism is bravely responding to this shifting scenario and is, I am happy to report, encouraging a more concise and compact tour of popular destinations. Spain, for example can now be seen and done in just a single weekend. Yes thats right, forget your fortnight package deal - who has time for that any more? Do more in less with our special Gazpachomonk Guided Tour of Iberia in just 48 hours.
5 full minutes in Sevilla
We Start with an early arrival at Malaga Airport at 8 AM on a Saturday morning. Deep in the dependable south of Andalusia where, it's more than likely to be dry, and more a than likely that the PSOE are still in power. First stop: Seville . As we arrive in the beautiful city we will be staying on board to save time. Of course when we arrive at the Giralda, you will be given five minutes and a pair of opera glasses to get up to the top have a good look around to see most of the city from there: Bridges that look like harps etc and then jog back down into the bus.
Marzipan to Madrid
Next stop is the train to Cordoba where you'll get a full 10 minutes to spend in the Mezquita. This may not sound very long, but it is plenty of time to stroll amongst the crazy psychedelic arches and get you back into the bus before stumbling across that awful ugly cathedral stuck in the middle. From Cordoba we get the train to Toledo where we spend a extensive 20 minutes bustling past the queues outside El Greco's house and before purchasing a sword, a suit of armour, and a packet of marzipan t take with you on the train to Madrid.
Galicia by Telescope
It should now be lunchtime by the time we arrive, so time to grab a sandwich on the move and have a good look around ATOCHA train station as we change Trains and move up north towards Asturias.
BY late afternoon we arrive in Oviedo , where we will be staying overnight, plenty of time to have a walk around, think about revolutions and repression by Franco in the 30's, drink some cider and get a chance to visit a rooftop where we have arranged for a large telescope to be pointed West. You'll be able to tell your friends that you've seen something of Galicia at least.
Breakfast in the Basque Countrty
The following morning we get up very early in order to get to the Basque country for breakfast. Then we will be jumping on a train towards Catalonia and by lunchtime walking down La Rambla to have a quick peak up at Christopher Columbus's legs
You all should have all downloaded on to your smartphones a copy of Homage to Catalonia as we stroll around the older quarters and imagine the pointless shooting battles between trotskist and stalinist troops. Everyone will then be issued a free home screen jpeg of George Orwell for your phone.
Then it is back onto the fast train from Barcelona down to the coast to Granada. At the Granada train station we all jump into a cab and drive to the entrance of the Alhambra Palace - but we won't be going in at it takes at least four hours just to queue up for your ticket. So its back to the bus station and to catch the fast bus south.
Fish 'n' chips in Nerja
Don't worry if you're getting a bit peckish at this stage as we will be stopping off at the idyllically small coastal village of nerja. - For a plate of fish and chips, half a pint of Guinness and to taste a little of life in an expat community on the coast.
Finally Malaga once more for a late night glass of fino And a brief look at a new Picasso Museum (brief and obscure as we won't be arriving back until about midnight). Plenty of time though in the early hours to stroll along new port area before heading back to the Hotel by 3 AM
Flight back from Magaga at 7 AM which should get you back into the UK by 9 o'clock Monday morning.
More Popular Tours:
Interested in the Gazpachomonk Tours? Book now or find out more about our other 3 tours:
- 1: Portugal in under an hour - 2: The white villages of Andalucia before breakfast - 3: The ever popular 'Madrid in under a minute'.
Listen to the whole audio version on this weeks podcast Speaking of Spain here, or download it from iTunes straight to your smartphone. Also on this weeks epsiode Whatsapp and Language shortcuts and a visit to El torcal.